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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26070271">Because you're here with me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hydreigonfan/pseuds/hydreigonfan'>hydreigonfan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Banana Fish (Anime &amp; Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ash Lynx Lives, Basically Eiji in Ash live together in Japan and try to get used to everyday life, Depression, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Holding Hands, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Canon, They're also really in love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:34:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,204</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26070271</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hydreigonfan/pseuds/hydreigonfan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"I just wish I'd get better already."</p>
<p>Eiji and Ash get used to everyday life in their house in Japan. Ash finally starts to come to terms with the past abuse and loss he's experienced while Eiji is always next to him, ready to lend an ear and give lots of cuddles. Also they hold hands a lot.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>153</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>”Ah, yeah.”</p>
<p>Eiji looked at him for a moment, swallowed the rest of his food and let out a sigh.</p>
<p>“You don’t have to pretend to be listening, Ash.”</p>
<p>Ash stiffened and woke up from his daydream at the mention of his name. He felt mildly bewildered, as if just experiencing a hypnic jerk (ie: waking up feeling like you were just falling). Put on the spot and flustered, Ash couldn’t come up with an excuse as to why he wasn’t listening. Not jumping at every opportunity to explain these things away might just be courtesy of Eiji’s constant nagging.</p>
<p>“Sorry..”</p>
<p>Eiji closed his eyes and lowered his hands onto the table. He tried to look disappointed but couldn’t help but let out a small giggle.</p>
<p>“It’s alright. I like it better when you’re honest anyway.”</p>
<p>Ash was still busy trying to trace back and put together the pieces of the conversation they were having, so it took a while for the implications of Eiji’s words to sink in.</p>
<p>“Hey! That makes it sound like I was consciously ignoring you!”</p>
<p>“<em>Hmm~</em>”, tilting his head innocently, Eiji ended the conversation and rose from the table, bringing his dishes with him. He turned the faucet next to the counter and started filling up the kitchen-sink. Soon thereafter he put his plate to dry on a rack. Then he paused for a moment, mentally checking a list of chores in his head and shrugged when he figured it would be alright to relax for the rest of the day.</p>
<p>“Don’t forget to wash your dishes too, I’ve left water in the sink. I’m not doing them for you if you manage to <em>forget</em> this time!”, he turned on his heal dramatically, pointing a finger at Ash’s nose with a frown to get his point across.</p>
<p>“I get it, I get it!”, Ash raised his hands in defeat and took a last look at his plate before standing up as well. Maybe he would have been able to get the last few bites down if he tried, but alas he found himself satisfied enough and dumped the remains in the food waste.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Japanese man was seated on their small sofa in the living room. Ash immediately noticed the empty space beside him, just enough for one person to fit into. Eiji was always considerate like that. As he directed his attention to whatever Eiji was looking at, Ash realized the TV was on, although the volume was barely enough to make the voices intelligible. Granted, that may have had more to do with Ash’s sub-par understanding of the language. He admitted he had been slacking off on practice lately. He really should have been able to understand a lot more with his level of intellect at this point but.. He didn’t really know if he had any excuses. </p>
<p>Looking back at Eiji, Ash could tell that the other man wasn’t really paying much attention to the monitor either. Perhaps he had just been waiting for Ash to follow him into the room, ever enthusiastic about their cuddle sessions. A warm smile played at Ash’s lips as he sluggishly dragged his feet across the tatami mats to take his seat. Eiji raised an eyebrow in response to Ash’s exaggerated manners.</p>
<p>“Agh, I’m tired!”, Ash exclaimed as he sprawled himself across the sofa and wrapped his arms around Eiji’s waist.</p>
<p>The Japanese man felt his body heat raise instantly, as if on cue. Truthfully, he still got surprised at the American’s sudden shows of affection. Still, he liked this part of Ash a lot- but that would stay a secret for as long as he could keep it.</p>
<p>“H-hey!”</p>
<p>Despite Eiji’s surprised squeal, Ash didn’t say or do anything more after that. He just buried his face into Eiji’s shirt and relaxed. If this had been a year ago, back in New York- Eiji might have continued to joke around for a bit before thinking any more of the situation. Even if he’d always listened to Ash back then, he had gotten much better at understanding his silence by now.</p>
<p>Truth was, Ash had been struggling a lot since leaving his old life behind. To any stranger Eiji is sure things would look better as they were now. The killing, abuse and drugs were so far away after all. But apart from all of that, there’s a lot of things an outsider couldn’t even try to see. Old habits are so hard to get rid of and new environments always bring new uncertainties. Eiji could only see this as everything finally catching up to Ash. Without the gunfights and pursuits brought on by his enemies there was nothing left to distract the young man from the loss that seemed to have always roamed, hidden in his shadow. </p>
<p>Sometimes Eiji wondered if his own existence really had been a gain to Ash, and if it in that case was a gain big enough to even begin to comfort the other in his darkness. Though Eiji might never find an answer to that, he knew he’d never stop trying. Perhaps that was also a selfish act by Eiji who without a doubt was just as dependent on Ash as the American was on him. Eiji wanted to believe that wasn’t the case, though. Regardless, a world without Ash was unimaginable.</p>
<p>Eiji looked down at the man lying on top of him. The hand which had been stroking his golden hair stopped for a moment which caused Ash let out a disapproving grunt. Eiji bit the inside of his cheek and continued petting the other.</p>
<p>He didn’t think he’d ever get used to seeing the “ferocious lynx” like this, vulnerable and small. Thinking about the people who had given Ash his scars would always fill Eiji with an uncontrollable rage. In those moments he’d come to the conclusion that there was in-fact a hatred strong enough to make someone want to take another person’s life. But even if he could make sure the abusers were gone, poor Ash could not escape them in his nightmares. </p>
<p>Ash must have noticed that Eiji was pondering too hard over something, because he hugged Eiji tighter to gain his attention. The gesture brought a lopsided grin to Eiji’s face and he could only huff out a breath of air before burying his nose in Ash’s hair.</p>
<p>“What are you thinking about?”</p>
<p>Eiji gracefully ignored the question.</p>
<p>“Aslan”, he hummed gently, instead.</p>
<p>This caused Ash to make a guttural noise, pushing Eiji’s face away with the palm of his hand. Eiji was not surprised at the reaction, but a little disappointed as usual.</p>
<p>“Man, why do you still have to get embarrassed over me using your real name?”, Eiji asked with his face still mashed against Ash’s hand. The American then pinched his nose.</p>
<p>“Shut up, I’m not embarrassed.”</p>
<p>“Then <em>whyyy?</em>” Eiji whined with a nasally voice as Ash settled again, letting go and resting his cheek back on Eiji’s chest.</p>
<p>“Tell me, Ash.” The Japanese said with an air of seriousness as he found his boyfriend’s hand and caressed it gently.</p>
<p>Ash only hummed silently, showing no intention of opening his mouth. Eiji was about to pester him some more, but decided against it. He didn’t want to force anything out. So instead he focused on Ash’s hand for a while. It was a little cold, so first he warmed it up with his own. Then he payed careful attention to the nicely trimmed nails and the few healed cuts, making up stories for each one of them in his head. That one was from a fight, this one from a silly disagreement and that one from a total accident. He smiled a little to himself. Maybe he should ask for the real stories someday, that is- if Ash would even remember such arguably insignificant injuries. Eiji gently rubbed his thumb over Ash’s knuckles before placing a chaste kiss on his palm and eventually resting the hand on his chest. He wondered if Ash could feel the beating of his heart through the thin fabric. Perhaps the action had moved the American somehow, because he let out a sigh and the next moment he was actually searching for an answer.</p>
<p>“Honestly, I don’t know Eiji..”, he muttered while rubbing his neck with his free hand. “It doesn’t feel real. I mean, I know it is. That it’s over. New York is really far away. I’m not killing to survive anymore. I don’t have to be afraid of allies being brutally murdered like I used to. Nobody is looking to exploit me and nobody is trying to sell me to a bunch of old scumbags for some easy money.” Ash grimaced as he was reminded of the smell of sweat and tobacco. </p>
<p>“I’m in Japan now.” It almost seemed like he was trying to convince himself of this this fact, pausing for a second after repeating the sentence. </p>
<p>“I’m living what most would call a normal life, together with someone very important to me. After everything it’s just hard to believe.” Ash clutched some of Eiji’s shirt in his tightly knit fist.</p>
<p>“I happen to be blessed with the brains to understand that most of what I struggle with is just imagination. Nothing more than fickle feelings brought on by trauma. Yet it’s hard to admit it’s a pain in the ass to deal with. I really must sound like a wimp saying this now, after death has knocked on my door so many times.”</p>
<p>Ash let out a bitter laugh, devoid of any joy. This greatly upset Eiji who couldn’t help but frown.</p>
<p>“Ash.”</p>
<p>Eiji loosened Ash’s grip on his shirt and instead intertwined their fingers before squeezing firmly. Ash looked up and finally made eye contact, listening carefully to his lover.</p>
<p>“Firstly, intellect has nothing to do with feeling depressed, Ash. Even if your brain is telling you lies what you feel is definitely real. So it’s okay to feel bad. You can tell me anything you want, but please don’t try to brush things off. I don’t like it is because I care so much about you. And against common belief, I am not dumb and I will not be fooled even if you try to.” Eiji tried to not look too sad when he smiled.</p>
<p>“You’re hurt, Ash.”</p>
<p>The blonde broke eye contact and shut his eyes tightly as he yawned. He waited a while before answering.</p>
<p>“You said that back in New York, too. That I’m hurt..”, opening his eyes again, Ash stared directly at the TV monitor as if he didn’t want to see Eiji’s reaction.</p>
<p>“I just wish I’d get better already.”</p>
<p>Eiji swallowed the knot that formed in his throat. He knew Ash was tired of feeling like this, and worried he’d start thinking of himself as a bother. Eiji hadn’t exactly expected him to say it out loud like this, though. He truly hated seeing Ash this way. The Japanese man had always been told that time healed all wounds but there was no way for him to confirm if that was really true. Was all he could give Ash false hope of a brighter tomorrow?</p>
<p>They stayed silent for a while, the sound of the TV only serving as background noise. Eiji had gone back to brushing his fingers through Ash’s hair while the American’s hand stayed resting in it’s place on top of his heart. </p>
<p>Ash tried to occupy himself by looking over the room and the many things he’d come to get used to over the past year in the Japanese house. It was very different from any place he’d lived in before, a fact he considered very welcome. He had started to feel hopeful that this house might come to feel more like a home than any of those familiar, yet suffocating ones. </p>
<p>There were a few paintings on one of the walls, painted in a style Ash had never seen too much of up close while he still lived in America. The light feeling of the brush strokes in them comforted him, he had really become fond of the style. Then there was a big clutter of photos covering the space next to the TV. A majority of them were from that summer in New York. In the beginning there had only been a handful of them, pain lingering among the lost faces. Now however, Ash didn’t want to hide from them anymore. He hoped that maybe by giving up on running away from those memories, his friends would finally be able to see that he was doing better, avoiding trouble. Yet he couldn’t help the pang in his chest at being reminded that he would never meet some of those faces again, unless there really was an afterlife. But he couldn’t hope too strongly on something like that, especially since he carried a number of unforgivable sins himself. Then Ash thought to himself that maybe it would be okay for him to suffer in hell if that meant his loved ones got their peace in heaven.</p>
<p>“So, <em>do</em> you dislike it when I call you Aslan?” Eiji broke the silence.</p>
<p>Ash jerked his head up with a blank expression- still half daydreaming- but it promptly turned into a deadpan once he realized what Eiji had asked.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“Didn’t I just explain that?”</p>
<p>“You did?” Eiji was genuinely confused.</p>
<p>Ash sighed with an amused look.</p>
<p>“What was that about not being dumb?”, Ash gave a big, mischievous grin only to have his forehead flicked by the Japanese.</p>
<p>“Ouch!”</p>
<p>“Explain!”</p>
<p>Ash grunted, tilting his head back and forth a couple times as if he was taking his time to consider it. </p>
<p>“I.. don’t dislike it.”</p>
<p>Eiji seemed very unimpressed with the answer so Ash felt obliged to continue.</p>
<p>“Hmm.. Agh, no that’s not really it..” </p>
<p>The Japanese man was very surprised once Ash’s expression turned all the more red and flustered. Ash grimaced and brought his hands up to his face, covering it for a second. It almost looked like he was washing his face with invisible soap. Then he suddenly looked straight into Eiji’s eyes with a serious face, though his cheeks were still flushed a light shade of pink.</p>
<p>“I like it. When you say it it feels too good to be true, is all.. I guess. Something like that.”</p>
<p>“Oh.” Eiji brought his hand to his chin as if he was thinking it over.</p>
<p>“What do you mean ‘oh’?!!” Ash sat up, face now red as a tomato.</p>
<p>“Nothing.” Eiji’s face lit up with a playful expression. “You said you weren’t embarrassed?”</p>
<p>“You’re one brave man <em>Okumura-san.</em>” Ash rumbled.</p>
<p>“What’s with that?” Eiji laughed. “Did I upset our Yamaneko-kun?”</p>
<p>“Don’t call me that!” Ash scrambled onto his feet and started for the door of the house. Eiji looked at him from the sofa with a pout on his lips.</p>
<p>“Hey, Ash?”</p>
<p>The blonde stopped in his tracks just before exiting the room. Bickering like this was nothing unusual for them, yet he felt a bit brash leaving without a word so he waited for what the other had to say.</p>
<p>“I love you. I love you so much.”</p>
<p>Ash felt his heart skip a beat at the unexpected yet familiar words. He then took a peek over his shoulder to address the other man. He was met by Eiji’s big smile. It was truly that of an angel. Ash didn’t believe in a god but he really thought that Eiji might be an angel. The warmth and light surrounding him called Ash like a lamp attracts a moth, desperate to escape the dark. The man might not carry any wings, but heaven knows he could still fly without them.</p>
<p>“I love you too, Eiji.”</p>
<p>He stepped a foot outside the room and then ventured to find his shoes in the hall, getting ready to go out. Eiji yelled from the living room asking him where he was going and Ash assured him not to worry, telling the other that he’d just be gone for a short while. He let out a deep sigh as he closed the door behind him and was met by a gentle breeze.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In reality Ash didn’t have any errands to run and there wasn’t really any other urgent reason for his leaving so suddenly. He simply yearned for a breath of fresh air, so perhaps he’d take a walk to the nearby lake or something. </p>
<p>The intense warmth of Eiji’s words was exchanged for a refreshing breeze. Ash crouched down on their doorstep for a minute, an attempt at grounding himself. This had become his new embarrassing habit since they moved here. In short, leaving Eiji alone was hard. It was silly, especially the times Ash knew he was only gonna be away from his beloved a few minutes but it always took him some time to build enough courage to leave Eiji’s side. He was so afraid that one day he’d return home only to find his new life ruined. The same paranoia he had to thank for saving him countless times in America had now started to eat away at him.</p>
<p>With a sharp gaze Ash methodically scanned his surroundings, something he was so used to that it felt like second nature. His skin would crawl every time in anticipation until he eventually found it in himself to let his body relax again. These keen senses of his were a result of the meticulous training he went through under Blanca’s guidance. It was because of those pain-staked days that he had the ability to notice danger a second earlier than his friends and foes. Some of the most forbidding encounters he had avoided thanks to this were the ones following all-too calm moments. In America they had meant assassins and snipers; enemies who don’t announce themselves until their decisive moment arrived. In other words- Ash was fighting his instincts on the daily for the sake of living something akin to a normal lifestyle.</p>
<p>Willing his body to move, he started walking towards his destination, awfully aware of the ominous voice in the far back of his head.</p>
<p>Eventually he found himself by the lake. The water surface was smooth except for a few rings made by a pair of water striders. Ash had always found them very peculiar. Reminiscing about the time Griffin had explained how they used the surface tension to move across the water, Ash sat down. Feeling the grass on the skin of his ankles, he breathed in the cool air and tried to breathe out whatever the heavy feeling in his chest was. </p>
<p>Ash focused his thoughts on the things surrounding him instead of the thoughts inside his head, as he always tried to when things were getting heavy. Since the walk here from their house was barely ten minutes long Ash would come here a lot, just as often by himself as with Eiji. They liked watching the lake and the trees, as well as discovering the many kind of birds and insects around it. Ash smiled as he remembered Eiji’s excited face the time they found a big beetle in the nearby vegetation. Apparently Eiji had caught one like that with his friend who kept it as a pet when they were kids. If he remembered correctly, the Japanese man had called it a <em>kabutomushi</em>. As someone who had never in his life thought to pay attention to something like bugs Ash was surprised to find himself admitting it was really cool. Of course he admired the beetle for making Eiji smile like that as well, so he guessed that may or may not pay part in his sudden interest in them. From time to time- when he came alone- he’d bring a book instead, reading it in the shade of one of the trees. Eiji had sneaked up on him with his camera once to take a few pictures (which Ash pretended he didn’t notice) to then put up on their wall. Ash really liked those photographs. It was hard for him to express in words, but the photos Eiji took of him made him feel like a real person. Other photographers had reduced him to an object, an heir or a violent gangster. But not Eiji. In Eiji’s photos he was just Ash.</p>
<p>Without him noticing, a small weight was lifted from Ash’s shoulders just thinking about his beloved. Out of everything that had happened in his life he truly felt like their meeting had been destined. Sure, you could argue that it had only been due to a sequence of coincidences that they first met- like Eiji’s injury- but isn’t that all life was? Coincidences pieced together into something bigger. Yet their meeting was the one thing he couldn’t call chance. From their first moment together until now they had shared a connection- a connection he’d never had before and would never have again. Eiji was his safe space.</p>
<p>Occupying himself with thoughts like that and listening to the leaves in the breeze, time quickly passed. Though the sun had gone down and Ash eventually found that his body had started to become cold in the evening air he didn’t want to move. Though quiet moments like these made his nerves go wild it was something that he’d missed thus far in his short life. His fear of this being his last far overpowered his body’s complain of the cold. </p>
<p>Ash had started to doze off when he suddenly felt a presence approaching, at once wide awake. He had already started calculating the best courses of action when he realized he knew the owner of the presence and instantly relaxed again. He stood up on his numb legs and awaited the owner of the hurried footsteps.</p>
<p>Eiji stopped, resting his hands on his knees while catching his breath once he arrived at Ash’s side. The American figured the other had run over because he’d been gone for longer than he promised and felt a little guilty.</p>
<p>“I thought.. I’d find you.. here.” Eiji huffed out.</p>
<p>Ash leaned over to push a couple stray hairs out of Eiji’s face as his jet black hair had become quite disheveled.</p>
<p>“And you did.” Standing straight again, Ash turned to look back out at the water.</p>
<p>Eiji stared at the other for a second before letting his eyes wander to the same spot.</p>
<p>“Were you here the entire time?” The Japanese man asked gently after calming his breathing.</p>
<p>“Mm.”</p>
<p>They stayed like that for a while before Eiji noticed Ash was only wearing a t shirt and hastily lent him his own jacket. Ash kept insisting he didn’t need it, but Eiji didn’t listen.</p>
<p>“Hey, Ash your hands are ice cold too! You shouldn’t have stayed out so long, let’s go home! Should we run?” With a worried frown, the Japanese tugged at the sleeve of the jacked which Ash was now wearing, willing the blonde to follow him.</p>
<p>“It’s okay, Eiji.” Ash laughed and smiled sheepishly. “Besides, I’ll warm right up if I you let me hold <em>your</em> hand.”</p>
<p>Ash’s coy smile caught Eiji off guard. Then again, the American usually acted like this when he was feeling vulnerable and Eiji couldn’t help but feel endeared.</p>
<p>“Mattaku..” </p>
<p>Pretending he wasn’t at all smitten by Ash’s flirting, Eiji grabbed his hand with a look of nonchalance. And so they began the short journey back home.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Reluctantly, Ash opened his eyes. He had been trying to fall back asleep after waking up from a nightmare but seeing as his brain continued to replay the unpleasant imagery in his head he decided he’d rather wake up completely. </p>
<p>Looking at the sleeping figure to his left, Ash made sure that Eiji was sleeping soundly before he escaped his futon. Bringing his duvet, Ash slipped out of the dark room through the sliding doors to their balcony as silently as he could manage.</p>
<p>The weak wind from earlier had vanished and it hadn’t gotten much colder, but Ash still curled up with his duvet around him, taking care to not expose his bare feet since he didn’t want to catch a cold. Once he found himself in a comfortable position, leaning back on one of the walls, Ash stared up at the sky in awe. The stars shone brightly and there wasn’t a single cloud in sight. The moon was beautiful as well, albeit not completely full.</p>
<p>Ever since Ash was little he had found a lot of comfort in the stars that lit up the otherwise dark nights. He didn’t exactly know how he first discovered it, but whenever Ash had looked at them the gnawing thoughts in his head would give him a rest. Sitting in silence with them, his pain disappeared if only for a short while and that had been enough to get him through another day. Now he realized that he’d forgotten just how important they were to him back then. During his last couple of years spent in New York he must have had too little time for something like this. Or maybe he had been afraid of revisiting the feelings he had when he was a child- worried he’d become too soft for the harsh life of a gang leader.</p>
<p>Feeling overwhelmed with the nostalgia from his broken childhood, he looked down at his shaking hands. It was as if the stars were silently watching him from above, happy to keep him company once more. Somehow it reminded him of the warm embrace of his brother that he’d longed for so many times throughout his life. Locking both of his hands together, he brought them close to his chest and then looked up at the many small lights again. He recalled that Shorter had told him he felt insignificant, like a single ant residing in one out of a million anthills when he looked up at the nightsky. “The universe is just so crazy big, y’know?”</p>
<p>Ash didn’t remember what he’d replied back then but right now he would have told Shorter that he disagreed. He didn’t feel small or rather: he didn’t feel alone.</p>
<p>Maybe Ash had deep down wished that the stars could forward those thoughts along to his friend.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At the sound of the sliding doors opening, Ash jumped in surprise. Eiji stuck his head out and closed his tired eyes with a smile once he spotted his boyfriend. Then he crawled over on his knees, gesturing for Ash to let him inside the duvet as well. Ash fought back the urge to snicker, taking note of Eiji’s crazy bedhead.</p>
<p>“I wondered where you went, you were gone far too long for a bathroom visit. I was almost worried for a second.” Eiji spoke with a slight slur as he rubbed his eyes.</p>
<p>“What, thought I had run away in the middle of the night?” Ash pulled Eiji close under the duvet, doing his best to shield him from the chilly air.</p>
<p>“No.” The Japanese sighed, content.</p>
<p>Eiji rested his head on Ash’s shoulder and together they admired the sea of far-away suns and planets. The Japanese man has almost dozed off when the sky suddenly turned bright, a flare appearing and fading within less then a second. Eiji was left searching with big eyes, wondering if he had just imagined the light, but when he looked over at Ash the boy was smiling in wonder.</p>
<p>“A shooting star?” Eiji asked, dumbfounded.</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>“Woah, this is my first time seeing one!” He laughed with sparkles in his eyes.</p>
<p>“For me too.” </p>
<p>Then the lights were suddenly a blur. Ash didn’t register the fact that he was crying until he noticed Eiji smoothing a thumb over his cheek, drying his tears oh so gently. </p>
<p>“Ah.” Ash hid his face in the duvet, hoping it would soak up his tears while he figured out what his body was doing. Eiji was resting a hand on the small of his back. It grounded him enough to form a sentence.</p>
<p>“I-I really don’t know why I’m crying..”</p>
<p>Eiji was watching him with a soft smile, waiting patiently for him to speak however much or little he wanted to. Taking a couple deep breaths, Ash felt comfortable talking again.</p>
<p>“I don’t know why.. but I feel like maybe I should treasure this. Being able to cry for no reason and without anyone laughing or looking down on me.” He let out a wet laugh. “These might actually be happy tears.”</p>
<p>Eiji looked at him so fondly that Ash thought his heart would shatter with the sheer amount of love he harbored inside it. He was feeling too much.</p>
<p>“Mm, you can cry however much you want Ash, it’s not a bad thing.” The Japanese man spoke in a low voice as he leaned closer.</p>
<p>At those words Ash felt the flood gates break but still desperately tried to choke down the sobs stuck in his throat. That is- until Eiji adjusted himself under the duvet so that they were hugging. Ash cried loudly into Eiji’s shoulder, hoping he’d forgive him for getting his pyjama shirt wet. Eiji’s hands were in his hair, untangling the golden strands the same way he had done that afternoon. Ash felt so safe embracing him.</p>
<p>When Eiji felt that the other had mostly calmed down, they parted slightly. After a gentle press of his lips against Ash’s forehead Eiji held Ash’s face in his hands. As they looked into each other’s eyes Ash noticed that there were tears resting on Eiji’s lower lash line too.</p>
<p>“Eiji..”</p>
<p>“Wait for me just a second, okay?”</p>
<p>Eiji let go of of him and got out from under the duvet, disappearing back inside. Ash whimpered at the cold air making contact with his skin, as well as the absence of the Japanese man beside him.</p>
<p>He returned less than a minute later, handing over a tissue to Ash before getting back under the duvet.</p>
<p>“Ah, thank you..” Ash blew his nose and felt himself able to breath lighter. He looked over at Eiji carefully and noticed the other had dried his eyes while he was inside.</p>
<p>“Um.. I’m sorry about that, I didn’t mean for you to get sad.” Ash said with a small voice.</p>
<p>“What are you talking about?”</p>
<p>Ash felt a little flustered at Eiji’s response and kept his gaze low.</p>
<p>“These are happy tears too, Ash! Nothing to apologize for!” The Japanese man smiled wide.</p>
<p>“.. Why?”</p>
<p>Carefully, Eiji moved Ash’s hair out of his face, fixing it behind his ears. His hair really had gotten long.. Ash was wearing a confused pout on his lips, so Eiji gave him a peck.</p>
<p>“That’s because you’re here with me, Aslan.”</p>
<p>Ash looked at Eiji intently, like he was trying to determine if the past hour had in fact been a dream. It seemed he had decided to believe it was real because he reached out, held Eiji close and burrowed his nose into the crook of his neck. Eiji left a light kiss on the crown of his head.</p>
<p>“Let’s go back inside, my dear Aslan.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This might be kind of a word-vomit but I'm quite fond of the latter parts! I decided to finish writing and editing this today so I hope it doesn't come off rushed or has too many mistakes. Other than that I just want to say thank you SO much for reading! I would love to hear any of your thoughts in the comments, and I wish you a really good day/night &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for reading the first part of this fic! I absolutely love these two and I like thinking about them.. So here you go I guess!! Part two shouldn't be too far away (hopefully sometime this week) but school starts tomorrow so no promises! I would also appreciate any comments A LOT!! See you soon, and look forward to the next part hehe ^^</p></blockquote></div></div>
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